TEEN, AGE review

03 Mar, 2024

TEEN, AGE (2017)

The seventh part of my SVT discography review!

Ranking system:

🍇 - 10.0 BNM one of their most iconic slays
🍉 - fantastic song that made me feel something
🍓 - eating, a few flaws that are either easy to overlook or a bit charming
🍊 - good background music but i wouldn't seek it out
🍌 - it does nothing for me but isn't outright offensive
🍐 - does nothing for me and is offensive
🍈 - so bad that it almost wraps back around to good just bc i was laffing so much

(note: tracklists are not in album order. they are very loosely ranked)

Intro: New World This is not a song, but it sort of scared me I guess.

🍌 Without You
Okay so that synth intro was a bit of a jumpscare. Vernon’s little bit at the beginning kinda made me laugh. The breakdown is kinda…I had to like check if my headphones were working lmfao…they were working, this just sounds weird. Why do they not give DK enough lines…my ears perk up whenever I hear his beautiful voice and yet it keeps being stolen away from me…okay this breakdown isn’t working. Are my headphones really working properly or what’s going on.

🍈 Bring It
Um, I wasn’t expecting this so I almost cracked up when it came on. “Those who try to attack my people” Hoshi had opps. Okay what the fuck just happened? What the fuck is with this chorus jesus christ. I can like, feel Hoshi’s virility through the headphones and on one hand it’s kinda engaging and on the other hand I’m like okay settle down, jeez. It’s kinda funny that this isn’t a hoshi solo and Woozi’s here. Like why’d you agree to not only make this for him, but to feature on it…? The only explanation is that they hooked up cuz what’s even happening towards the end of this. I’m very entertained by this existing.

🍈 Flower
So this opens with Jeonghan talking about scents and penetration again, he’s really fixated on that topic around this era, huh? That “yeeeah” in the prechorus is taking me out. Is this a sex song for real cuz I’m kinda laughing if it is. Dino and Minghao’s verse is kinda hysterical if we’re being real…and why is Wonu so into this? Seungkwan sounds like he couldn’t rly gaf about this track lmfao he’s like yeah you’re my flower whatever meanwhile Jeonghan is panting all over that bridge. Why’d they give us a jeongcheol bridge on the pheromone song they’re sick…I was searching for my vape so bad during that cuz I needed nicotine pfdighdoifgh

🍊 Hello
Omg hey babe…I mean dk…hey….sing your shit for me….he’s too low in the mix tho like can we turn that shit UP? Oh. Mingyu. Hey gurl. Talk about a random facking unit but it’s working for me because it’s mostly dk singing his shit with jun as décor and a quick Mingyu verse for comedic/camp value. Oh serve a falsetto on that bridge, babe….yeahhhh sing it to me babe….oh. Mingyu. Hey gurl. No I wasn’t humping dk what are you talking about.

🍓 Trauma
Okay so instantly I’m happy they made Mingyu sing the hook instead of rapping cuz…sdifgkjsdfgh. Vern is really good at rapping when he tries! This song kinda cracks me up because of the difference in their pen game like Wonu showing up with his intellectual bars sent me. Also Scoups sounds really good here I think he knows a little too much about the um, topic at hand. Mingyu takes me out only a tiny bit I think he’s just kinda like aw you guys want to sing about your trauma omg I’ll help (mentally healthy)

🍓 Pinwheel
Omg so I get to hear DK sing for more than two seconds YESSSSSSSSSS…..what’s with the siren-like beauty of that voice…he can get me to care about the most basic ass songs….my brother says this sounds a bit like a life insurance commercial and honestly yeah but I get to hear DK and Seungkwan sing and that’s honestly enough for me like this MIGHT have been better as a booseok duet…idk I feel like their vocals are just so affecting and every time they weren’t singing I was just waiting for them to sing again. The booseok parts were extremely enjoyable and the rest was pleasant too.

🍓🍈 Clap
Their snot-nosed confidence…what are you guys so happy about. My dad gets this song stuck in his head whenever I play it on the TV and then for the rest of the evening he’s humming it lol. It’s very catchy and also MY fruity jeonghan…that part always makes me need to pee laughing. Idk I feel like this is a good compromise between freshteen and them wanting to be grown. It’s a little cornball but it’s fun. That facking instrumental break gives me hallucinations of Jeonghan finger heart.

🍉 Lilili Yabbay
IDUBILU’s mother omg! Wow you can really see their artistic direction starting to take shape here. They were having a lotta fun with the pitch-shifting, huh? The textures are interesting, what’s with the crunchiness…kinda flavorful if I do say so myself. Also I’m always gonna baffled by how good they make Jun sound on the PFU tracks compared to the OT13 tracks lol. Like he gets in his element on songs like this… Also I know Dino was thrilled to serve a cunty monologue, good for him.

🍉 Change Up
Wow Hoshi doesn’t sound too bad here it’s giving pleasant. Idk what that little yelp Scoups does is, but it’s kinda funny. Woozi was in his Mickey mouse bag. Remember when these guys all got along…so much has changed since then…I wonder exactly what happened between this and cheers cuz the vibes are extremely different. It’s a very cute song it sort of makes me sad for some reason…I feel like this would go crazy after a puff of grass.

🍈🍈🍈 Rocket
This is the best song ever written. I do prefer the English version for comedic purposes but this is still awesome as fuck. Josh…serving head voice! (cody ko voice) Who let me have fun? Or more like, who let THEM have fun!? They’re clearly enjoying the absolute SHIT out of this track and so despite it being hilarious I have to respect that…like you guys were rly bonding lol. Vern was like this guy gets it! And josh was in the booth like omg didn’t I sound so good just now…history was made.

🍉 Campfire
Time for the sentimental closing track…aw Jeonghan you’re doing great sweetie. You can tell Woozi’s a weeb cuz what in the anime ending song…like the characters all smiling in some flower field during better times lol. Oh the strings in the bridge are kinda nice lol woozi you’re too good at this…omg wait that Jeonghan. In the final chorus. I need to replay her. Omg…Jeonghan…your calling…we’ve found it…you need to be making adorable J-indie songs…Jeonghan…....I need to kiss you….might be my fav on the album just for that Jeonghan... excuse me I'm a jjf... I'm weak for this... Oh he would look cute in a flannel...

Outro. Incompletion
Why does this album have an outro? Why is it like, the Clap stems…after campfire you can’t just…remind me of BAKSU! Well, whatever. Shine on, crazy diamond.