MISC. ONE-OFF SINGLES/OST/ETC reviews
the 21st part of my svt discography review! this review includes all of the one-off singles, OSTs, random collabs, and that sort of thing. Solo songs will get their own post.
Ranking system:
🍇 - 10.0 BNM one of their most iconic slays
🍉 - fantastic song that made me feel something
🍓 - eating, a few flaws that are either easy to overlook or a bit charming
🍊 - good background music but i wouldn't seek it out
🍌 - it does nothing for me but isn't outright offensive
🍐 - does nothing for me and is offensive
🍈 - so bad that it almost wraps back around to good just bc i was laffing so much
Q&A (2015)
🍈 Q&A (with AILEE)
Um...well that vernon intro made me embarrassed. The scoups verse as well. I mean this is sort of juvenilia isn't it? So I won't be too harsh, I guess. I think woozi was seriously in love with ailee lmfao he was like omg my queen...let's duet...and somehow vernon and scoups got in on it and this is the result. If I'm real, this should've just been an Ailee solo if they wanted it to work, like get rid of those trap flourishes on the production and let her sing and I bet this would've been pleasant. But yknow, it's funnier this way. Man, the young vernon...he was so...jesus christ...you just KNOW woozi was calling him a cockblock for this.
CHOCOLATE (2016)
🍈🍊 Chocolate (with Yoon Jong Shin)
So yoon jong shin is a singer-songwriter and the founder of mystic story, the label home to groups like Lucy and Billlie. He used to do these 'monthly projects' where he would collab with someone once a month and release the 12 songs as a yearly album(?) so for february 2016 he is collabing with Seventeen's vocal unit. just so you know the context of this. cuz like, without the context, i'm worried some of you would go into shock turning this on. so it's OLD school and josh implores you to 'take his joystick'. i mean seungkwan sounds really good here though. so does dk, but i do think this type of cheese is more suitable for seungkwan. the tackiness goes well with his voice. man, jeonghan...he really couldn't do much with that voice til a couple years later, huh. improvement! this kinda would've worked for me as a seungkwan solo. or a booseok duet. like the hook is relatively weak so you sorta need the powerhouse vocalists to make up for it. the mv is worth a watch, though. historical value and all.
A-TEEN (2018)
🍌 A-TEEN
So this is...(looks at notes) josh, hoshi, woozi, vern, and dino...doing an OST for some webdrama...it opens with hoshi getting SNOTTY on the mic. vernon is cute here talking about failing his exams. what do you mean GIGI now? man, hoshi seriously has some attitude here, doesn't he...like, lol. dino is adorable trying his best to refrain from fully auditioning for us. josh...it's giving head voice! i'm not sure about the hook, it's kinda not doing it for me at all. so like, I can't call this good. but i like the that synth shredding breakdown! i'm sure this was great BGM for whatever TV show this was for! seventeen moving up in the world!
9-TEEN (2019)
🍐🍈 9-TEEN
Aaand Seventeen were invited back for season 2 to do another song yayy!! this one has all 13 of them on it. look at that cover art lol they were TRAPPED in 2015. the facking intro is giving easyfun in 2013 lmfao. they're lateeee to everything. okay this is kind of a mess lol you could just imagine the pastelgoth mv they would cook up for this...woozi going "my nineteen..." so somberly is cute. jeonghan kinda fumbles his honeyvocal a little and then scoups comes in with another FIRE verse...how am I supposed to be listening to this lol are you SURE this is from 2019??? mingyu having writing credits...i know what you are! you're on weheartit, aren't you!? yeah this is totally the churning frothing river of slop especially when that wonu kicks in.
17 (2020)
🍊/🍓 17 (with Pink Sweat$) So this pink sweats guy recorded a bunch of duets of this song with other people. This is his song and doesn't have much to do with seventeen. However, it's pretty funny that he was like okayyy who else can I get on the track? How about two members of Seventeen??? lol get it cuz the songs called 17 lol! so he invited josh and dk into the booth to CROON. and josh immediately starts creaming ALLLLLLL over that beat and, well, the funny. DK sounds good (not humping him dont worry). Oh wow is this like, a wedding song? Lol...it's jarring to hear like, a non-idol western artist show up halfway through. like wait why was JOSHUA HONG on this track? okay dk does sound beautiful though. wowwwww okay giving him the outro is gonna make me rate this better than i would have. recency bias...
WARRIOR (2021)
🍓 Warrior So this is a c-drama OST with mingyu, vern, josh, jun, and minghao...and it just SHOOTS you right into this CRAZY chorus where josh is CREAAAAMING all over the beat. Mingyu's head voice is kinda lol. oh it's kinda crazy to hear vern singing in mandarin?? i mean it makes sense why, but junhao sound better in their native language. why the fuck is this so crazy??? why did nobody tell me this was a song that exists?? it's so weird!!! but it's kinda interesting not gonna lie to you. I'm biased toward mandopop anyways though just by virtue of the language sounding really cool. i mean gyushua are kinda...the funny...on this...but that's okay it's entertaining. whoa was vern getting into his twink bag at the end? lol. i'd rank it higher if it were a junhao solo tbh.
IS IT STILL BEAUTIFUL? (2021)
🍇 Is It Still Beautiful
So this is for a medical drama, and it's brought to us by booseok and woozi. it opens with your typical sad piano schlock, so i'm guessing i'll get some unadulterated siren VOCAL. looking forward to it...ohhhh yeah sing it to me babe sing it to me babe sing it to me babeeee....serenade me babe....what's with that voice seriously....seungkwan singing me a breakup song and saying he doesn't smile anymore HE'S LITERALLY MY EX. omg seungkwan singing these toxic ass lyrics in a heartbreaking VOCAL i'm the best boyfriend he ever had. omg dk...i was too toxic for you right...woozi did you write this cuz you lowkey need to be sucked for this...YESSSS DK FINAL CHORUS HE'S SOOOOO MY EX....OMG HIS VOICE IS SO BEAUTIFUL DO YOU HEAR THAT VIBRATO....omg ok they need to do this more often pleassseeeee call them back next season guys...
BETTING (2023)
🍈 Betting (with Shingo Katori)
So this is for a Japanese drama, and features mingyu, seungkwan, and jeonghan, as well as a member of SMAP (old school jpop boy group). from the first three seconds i can already tell it's gonna be funny, so that's cool. omg okay, mister (checks notes) shingo katori...? are you good? omg this is where the mingyu "my ice/my eyeth/my ass" comes from lmfaooooo. lol jeonghan...i mean i DID tell him to go make some j-pop so this is technically my fault. this is like...evil japanese home run where most of the members were replaced by shingo katori. so if that sounds up your alley then go ahead and stream! why does it kinda...give...corey feldman....tbh.....LMFAOOOOOOOO
DIRTY DANCING (2023)
🍈🍈🍈 Dirty Dancing (with New Kids On The Block)
Umm....well, I mean...just listen to it....josh, dk, and dino feature on old-ass NKOTB's cheating at the club song where they reference patrick swayze...it's genuinely surreal to hear seventeen randomly show up halfway through this. it's like...this has to be a joke...whose idea was this...hearing THESE THREE in particular sing about cheating on their gf on the dancefloor is sooooo!?!??! OH MY GOD OKAY SO 3/4 THROUGH THIS SONG, DINO AUDITIONS FOR US. IN ENGLISH. BAD BOY STYLE. legitimately worth a listen just because of the shock factor. enlightenment.
GOD OF LIGHT MUSIC (2023)
🍈 God Of Light Music
I dunno if this counts as an actual song, but they released it as an actual song, so we'll judge it like an actual song! unironically i do like it more than god of music despite it clearly being a skit...it's kinda funny how jeonghan doesn't put half as much effort into their actual songs. i mean this is better than god of music though because i have evidence they were all present in the studio and enjoying themselves. there's also a 'trot remix' of god of music included with this, but that's just god of music with the trot instrumental, which is like...not the point of this. at all.